Lately I’ve been living with a frustrating physical problem. You see, I noticed about two weeks ago that I was struggling to see clearly. At first I thought my sunglasses had a stubborn something on them that I just couldn’t polish off. Then I noticed that my reading glasses weren’t doing their job. Frustrated, I went to the store and purchased a stronger pair. I then realized the problem wasn’t my glasses. The vision in my left eye was cloudy, as if I was trying to see through a fogged up bathroom mirror. Alarmed, I paid a visit to my eye doctor.
Much to my dismay, after a thorough examination, she let me know that the cause of my “sudden” inability to see clearly was a cataract that would need a surgical solution. Say WHAT? I just turned 50 about six weeks ago, and had in fact renewed my driver’s license and passed the vision test at the DMV. How could this have happened so suddenly?
As the days have gone by, exactly 14 today, my sight has diminished more and more. Where I could see color and some details the day I visited the doctor I can now see only light and dark shapes with only a hint of color. Cataracts are progressive, and apparently mine is an over-achiever.
It is interesting that as my physical vision deteriorates daily the Holy Spirit is revealing some spiritual truths to the eyes of my heart. You see, while I noticed my “blindness” exactly two weeks ago, my doctor is confident that the cataract didn’t suddenly appear that day. It had been silently developing, little by little, and I hadn’t noticed it. I didn’t even realize what I wasn’t seeing, until BAM, all of a sudden, I knew I was “blind”. How could this be? I believe the same thing can happen to our spiritual eyes, even as followers of Christ.
Pastor recently stressed the importance of being disciplined in our walk. When I fail to have self-discipline I inevitably begin to wander away from Jesus, little by little. My daily time in the Word and in prayer diminishes, and eventually can even disappear for days in a row. Sin creeps in, a little at a time. Old habits that I thought were long gone begin to rear their ugly heads. When complacency takes over and I move away from God, I don’t even notice at first. Others around me often see what I cannot. They may try and point out to me that something is amiss. However, the process happens so slowly, the scales that form over my spiritual eyes are not noticeable to me. I cannot see clearly. I am blind to my own sin. I do not see an accurate reflection of my own heart. I cannot.
In hindsight, I can think of many times over the past year that my children have told me I was not seeing something clearly. They would insist something was one color and I would be absolutely certain it was another. There were other hints that my vision was not as it should be, but I did not catch on to them because I was comfortable. Complacency and sin work in much the same way. When I am not listening for that still small voice but rushing around in my business the Holy Spirit’s alarm bells get missed. My cloudy vision takes me further and further off of the path of God’s best for me and I don’t even realize it. If I am confronted, even gently, by those that love me enough to speak truth, I am likely to deny there is an issue because I truly cannot see it.
Recently in Sunday school we looked at Psalm 146. Verse 8 saysThe LORD opens the eyes of the blind. Hallelujah! Indeed Jesus came to give sight to those who could not see. Praise God that means He won’t leave me in the darkness. When my vision is clouded, He will restore my sight. It is an ongoing work, that began when He opened my eyes on the day of my salvation twenty-nine years ago.
As I move forward with plans to have the surgery to have my vision restored, I am asking God to do surgery on the eyes of my heart. I am praying the words of Psalm 139: 23 & 24:
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
point out anything in me that offends you,
And lead me along the path of everlasting life.
How about you? Is it time for a spiritual eye appointment? I think the waiting room music will be from SonicFlood, “Open the Eyes of My Heart”.