In the parent-child relationship, one the most infamous discussions that is had is “the talk.” Whether you have broached this topic with your child yet—or it’s still to come, there is a need for an ongoing conversation after the “talk”—a “talk after ‘the talk.’” The sex-obsessed and sexually confused culture that your children are growing up in is primed to impose challenges upon them, if we are not actively discipling our children. The prevalence and variety of sexual sin—same sex attraction, gender dysphoria, pornography, sexting, etc.—in our culture is not lost on Christians. As parents, how can you continually disciple your child to pursue God’s design for sex.

1. Keep Talking

a. While you may have explained the birds and the bees, and there were no questions asked, that doesn’t mean that the topic should be dropped forever. As your child ages and matures, so does the complexity of sexuality—and the need to keep talking. It’s most likely not necessary to discuss with a ten-year-old the benefits of group dating for avoiding temptation. However; it may be necessary to discuss, in an age-appropriate manner, the dangers of inappropriate content on the internet. It is important as parents that sexual sin is brought to the forefront of conversation and discussed often. This allows for more open communication between the parent and child and the opportunity for children and students to not feel unprepared, ill-equipped, or alone in this battle.

2. Don’t Assume

a. Your kids likely know more about sex than you think they do. They also may be dealing with more temptation than you’d want to know. One of the most dangerous things we can do is assume that someone is immune to a sin. This often just buries sin. Our goal should be to create an environment where spiritual growth is the goal. As you disciple your children, it is necessary to always communicate truth in love—but also that you can provide an environment for them to confide in you so you can aid in their spiritual healing.

3. Help Them Grow

a. Your children are not perfect, like all of us, they are sinners, they will make mistakes. Ministering to them in the wake of a mistake will produce some discomfort, awkward conversations, pain, and hopefully—growth. How you choose to handle when your child makes mistakes—even those in the realm of sexual sin—will continually produce a testament to the power and love of God in their life.

    Whether your children are grown or you are not quite yet a parent, it is important that we think through how we can better communicate with our children about sex and sexuality. Thinking about this can be overwhelming. It is important to come up with a plan and system within your family that can produce the most effective communication possible between you and your children. I encourage you to pray and consider how God would lead you to disciple your children better in this matter. Know that God will guide you and equip you in this and that your children and student ministries seek to partner with you in discipling your children.

For some information relating to the current sexual climate, visit these links:

What Americans Believe About Sex-https://www.barna.com/research/what-americans-believe-about-sex/

Porn in the Digital Age- https://www.barna.com/research/porn-in-the-digital-age-new-research-reveals-10-trends/

What Parents Need to Know About Sexting- https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2673714

Fight the New Drug- An Organization Raising Awareness of the Harmful Effects of Pornography- https://fightthenewdrug.org/

    Most vehicles are equipped with a spare tire.  Depending on the model you drive it could be in the trunk, slung under the frame, or mounted on a bracket at the rear of the vehicle.  I bet most of us don't even think about the spare or check its tire pressure on a regular basis. It is there for an emergency and we hope we don't have to use it. 

    I was listening to a man's testimony at our church and that was how he described his relationship with God.  He said God was his spare tire.  Quite a statement when you think about it, but he might be describing a lot of us.  He said that he was running his own life, doing his own thing, and quite well at that.  He had a lot of success and was confident of his ability to handle things.  He had a good track record.  He had success in school and college, great job, financial security, a beautiful wife, friends, and material things.  What did he need God for unless there was an emergency?  Was he thankful and grateful for the way God blessed him.  No, he figured his hard work and abilities were the reasons for his success. God was not a factor.

    It was only when his life started to unravel that he realized God was a factor.  His father was declared brain dead and was hooked up to life support against his wishes.  His wife miscarried five months into her pregnancy.  He experienced a series of financial setbacks that depleted is nest egg.  He started having trouble on his job.  Strange how a God that never got any credit now gets all the blame.  He was angry, resentful, bitter.  He wanted to know what God was doing to him.

    He had to admit that God was changing him and if the change was meant to break him, it was starting to work.  Some friends invited him back to church which he had neglected attending for a long time.  God's word started to soften his heart and his attitude.  His thinking started to come around and his life started to change for the better.  He realized that God is not a spare tire to be used only in an emergency.  He is the driving force in our life if we unleash Him from the trunk and gave him love and prominence.  He will steer our lives in the right direction.  God finally got him where he needed to be.

Psalm 32:8 ^“I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.”

Isaiah 58:11 “And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.”

Psalm 16:11 ^“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”