There is nothing more important than knowing your identity in Christ. For our Middle School Girls Retreat, we put our focus on what it means to be a “Daughter of the King”. Today, there are so many labels that the world is trying to identify us with. For our girls, it may be “the pretty one”, “the smart one”, or “the funny one”. Some of these labels can be good, some of them can hurt such as “ugly”, “dumb”, or “awkward”. The world is always trying to define us and that is why it is vital for our girls to strip off the labels of the world and experience freedom in their identity in Christ.
What does it mean to be a daughter of the King? Our Middle School girls looked at three things specifically:godly beauty, godly relationships, and purity.
Beauty is something that the world defines by our outer looks. But we know that 1 Samuel 16:7b says:
“… The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
The heart is where our true beauty lies. Our focus becomes what God says is important and what God is wanting us to be. Beauty is not in whatever we wear, what pant size we hope to be, or how beautiful our make-up is. Our message to our girls was simply this: God created you wonderfully (Psalm 139:14). He didn’t mess up. Take joy in knowing that the Father loves you as you are!
Relationships—we deal with them everyday. Our middle schoolers experience friendships, parent relationships, and for some of them (and maybe soon for others) romantic relationships. Relationships are things our girls see everyday in the world. It is vital that our girls know what to look for in relationships to help protect their hearts. The Bible says in Proverbs 12:26:
“ The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
Our girls need to look for friends that have godly qualities of being caring, being loyal, and being hones. The world says its okay to disrespect or lie to your parents. Our girls were taught the value of obedience, with honor, to their parents, and to our heavenly Father. Lastly, romantic relationships are being pushed so young, especially, a lot of times, when girls are not ready. Parents, talk with your daughters about what dating will look like for them. Define the qualities that a godly man should have. Set the example in your own marriage for your daughter.
The Bible defines what purity is in Philippians 4:8. It says:
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Society is always pushing sex outside of marriage. Our girls need to know that God designed sex between one man and one woman who are married. If we are following God’s design for our life, this will save us from the pitfalls of sin that result in disappointment and unwanted baggage in the future. We had honest conversations about why we keep ourselves pure, whether it be in a relationship or even in what we watch on television or in movies. Parents, as uncomfortable as it may be, talk to your daughters about staying pure.
The Middle School Girls Retreat was a unique experience where mothers and daughters were able to break away from the world and its distractions. Parents, I encourage you to continue to talk about godly beauty, godly relationships, and purity. Grandparents, pray for your grandaughters that they would make the godly choices in friendships and relationships. All of us have the responsibility to always be praying for the safety of our girls and praying for the parents as they are raising up Daughter(s) of The King.